Silent

I've been silent for a little while. Well, not me exactly. The blog has been silent.

My life has been anything but silent. I've been adventuring. And it's been awesome. I left La Crete on the 17th of August and I arrived in Rarotonga on the 21st of August, after delayed flights and lost luggage, in the middle of a tropical deluge.

My time in Rarotonga was alternately wet and sunny, cold and hot, happy and sad, but one thing it was not was silent.

I made new friends, built deeper relationships, babysat, pretty much wiped out my creativity, jogged on the beach, practiced my non-existent swimming and dancing skills, laughed much too hard, and spent more hours at the playground than most children, but it wasn't silent.

Since returning to Canada, I've taken a few road trips, laughed too much, mourned the passing of summer, caught up with friends, made plans with more friends, wrestled with my siblings, and started an Alberta-wide job hunt. But I haven't been silent.

Today, after a run, a few hours in town, and visiting with my grandparents, I came home to an empty house, grand, big and silent, with a warm fire and silence. Complete and utter silence.

No people, no music, no laughing. It was weird. It was scary. So I turned on Netflix. I justified it, because I hadn't watched anything on Netflix for 2 months.

But now I'm sitting here, realizing, that I don't do silence. I'm always connected, someway, to something or someone.

Where is the Be still and know that I am God? It's not. I'm beginning to realize that I can't be quiet with God, and that means that there is no depth of character, no substance to my soul.

This is something to practice. This is something to teach my soul. It's time to unplug and plug into God. Corny, I know, kinda lame, but I think it's time to face the fear, and see what God has in store for me.