A Joyful Heart

Therefore by Him let us continually offer the sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of our lips, giving thanks to His name.

Hebrews 13:15

For those of you who know me well and as others of you may have guessed, I have struggled with maintaining good emotional health since I was a young teen. I have vacillated between minor and severe depression, the days of even-keeled emotion interspersing like bright rainbows between thunderstorms.  

To write this is awkward and I feel myself incredibly vulnerable. 

The last year of my life, was particularly a particularly harsh year. One of my best and truest friends, challenged me to a Joy Dare as a means of looking beyond the darkness that enveloped me. 

I did it, barely, scraping by with the skin of my teeth. I would not do it for days and then find myself thankful for the smallest things. I failed at that Joy Dare. Praise was incredibly hard for me. Finding the positive, not something that I believed I could do. 

But it did something to me. It began a small change in my heart. It a gap in my depression. It revealed a hole in my relationship with God. 

I had spent years performing for God, expecting my reward in return, when in reality, God didn't want my performance. He wanted me. He wanted me in joy or in sorrow, in sickness or in health. He wanted me. He still wants me. 

More than that, He wants to offer Himself to myself. He wants a relationship, not an act, not a performance. He wants to give Himself to me, wants me to know Him, the same way He knows me. 

Grace. Thankfulness. Praise. 

Part of the legacy that I want to leave behind is a legacy of praise, of someone who can be thankful, joyful, experience His grace, in the hardest of circumstances. I want to reflect His grace, His being in every circumstance. 

My challenge to myself for August, PRAISE. A joyful heart. To find something to be thankful for in every circumstance. 

It's working. Not every day has been perfect, and there have been days that all I have wanted to do is crawl under the covers, to wait til the day was over. 

There have been numerous days this month, where God is just silent. Where it seems like there is no reason to continue on in praise or in pursuit of Him. 

But I have to remind myself that in the silence is where I'll hear His voice. That I can and will be joyful. That He is worthy, even if I'm not. 

Praise, praise, praise. 

A joyful heart will become a thankful heart. A joyful heart will become a loving heart. A joyful heart will become a heart that's full of grace. 

How can you draw nearer to His heart today?