Change

Change is inevitable...but it is also something that we shy away from....
As you all know, my life is in the throes of change. God is moving me from the islands into an unknown.
There are times that I am so excited for this new adventure. And then there are days, like today, where the reality of change begins to set in...
Here, in the Cooks, what I do and what I think matters less and less, my vision for this place isn't extending into the future. Leaving here during a time of new beginnings is doubly hard, everyone is excited for new growth and for new projects, but my time is winding down, ending, and honestly, at times it is hard to really catch others' enthusiasm for the future. I love what God is doing here, but sad that I won't be part of it.

I'm not sure what I'm heading into. I still feel called to missions, but I don't know where and I don't know what. I pray every day and ask God where to next, but He keeps saying, patience. Those of you who know me well will realize that patience is a fruit of the Spirit I still need a lot more of, and so it is difficult to wait.

At the same time, I know that my time here is finished, so I just want to leave, go home or wherever, and do what God is calling me to do. But my time here, even though it is only 4-5 short weeks, is not completed.

I'm at a tempestuous point of life.

But God is calling me to something more, a deeper relationship with Him, a place of deeper reliance on Him, a place of deeper trust.

Today is one of those days that I want to throw in the towel and say ENOUGH! God just please make it easy....
But change is a journey, a hard journey and a lonely journey, but also a good journey. If we never saw change, we would never have an incentive to grow.

I'm not writing any of this to make anyone feel sorry for me. I just believe that there are those of you who will read this who are also facing journeys, hard & lonely journeys, but I just want you all to know that at the end of a hard & lonely day, you can still count on the One who made heaven and earth, who loves you so deeply, to be there, and He understands what you're going through.

And through every difficulty, He is holding you in the palm of His hand...